Fast and Furious 4

Lesbian Vampire Killers

Drag Me To Hell

Yes Man

Appleseed Ex Machina

Lets joke around!!!

Glad to be drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Little Johnny's Playing Partner
Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his mom what’s going on. “Playing cards,” she replies. “Who’s your partner?” asked little johnny. “Your father!”

Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister’s room. Again, he knocks on the door and asked his sister what was she doing. “Playing cards.” “With who?” he asks. ”My boyfriend!” she says.

A short while later, Little Johnny’s father is walking down the hall and hears a noise coming from Little Johnny’s room. He knocks on the door and asks ”What are you doing?” “Playing cards!” replied Johnny. ”Who’s your partner?” asked his father…

Little Johnny answers promptly, “With a hand like this who needs a partner?”



THE LETTER


After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive", Osama
himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to
let him know he was still in the game.

Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of
coded message: 370HSSV-0773H.

Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his
aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at
the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps
Intelligence for help
Within a few seconds the Marines cabled back with this reply: "Tell
Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."

India and Bangladesh in the West Indies 2009

India tour of West Indies, 2009June 2009
Fri 26
09:30 local, 14:30 GMT 1st ODI - West Indies v India
Sabina Park, Kingston, Jamaica

Sun 28
09:30 local, 14:30 GMT 2nd ODI - West Indies v India
Sabina Park, Kingston, Jamaica

July 2009
Fri 3
09:30 local, 13:30 GMT 3rd ODI - West Indies v India
Beausejour Stadium, Gros Islet, St Lucia

Sun 5
09:30 local, 13:30 GMT 4th ODI - West Indies v India
Beausejour Stadium, Gros Islet, St Lucia


Bangladesh tour of West Indies, 2009July 2009
Fri 3 - Sun 5
14:00 GMT TBC v Bangladeshis
Venue TBC
Barbados
Thu 9 - Mon 13
10:00 local, 14:00 GMT 1st Test - West Indies v Bangladesh
Arnos Vale Ground, Kingstown, St Vincent

Fri 17 - Tue 21
10:00 local, 14:00 GMT 2nd Test - West Indies v Bangladesh
National Cricket Stadium, St George's, Grenada

Fri 24
13:30 GMT TBC v Bangladeshis
Venue TBC
Dominica
Sun 26
09:30 local, 13:30 GMT 1st ODI - West Indies v Bangladesh
Windsor Park, Roseau, Dominica

Tue 28
09:30 local, 13:30 GMT 2nd ODI - West Indies v Bangladesh
Windsor Park, Roseau, Dominica

Fri 31
09:30 local, 13:30 GMT 3rd ODI - West Indies v Bangladesh
Warner Park, Basseterre, St Kitts

August 2009
Sun 2
14:00 local, 18:00 GMT Only T20I - West Indies v Bangladesh
Warner Park, Basseterre, St Kitts